Excerpt from 56 Beaver St.
Screenplay by J. M. Edwards
Story by Erik Wesselo and J. M. Edwards
EXT. THE HOLLAND BAR - CHELSEA - DAY
Once located near the Holland tunnel, The Holland Bar was moved literally, along with its clientele to a transitional area off the West Side highway. This is where chic and down on your luck collide.
As Pro reaches for the door of the bar, the unofficial
doorman opens one of the swinging doors and slaps Pro on the
Pro-fessional, what brings you here
in the light of day?
Ah, couldn't sleep. Decided to
catch up on the news of the
day...or make some.
(quickly his expression
He hands what seems to be an empty pack, walks in.
Yeah, one's left.
INT. THE HOLLAND BAR - INSIDE - NYC — DAY
The Holland bar is located in a long narrow building.
Slightly on the dive side, it is dark and musty smelling in a
stale beer kind of way. When you walk through the distinctive
swinging doors of the Holland bar, think western saloon. Once
inside, a long wooden bar contours the physicality of the
building. A chipped mirror covers the back bar reflecting and
refracting the colored liquor bottles staggered on mirror
shelving giving the establishment a hint of ambiance and
flare. There's an abundance of ripped, vinyl padded stools around the bar area and four small tables and chairs against the other side of the wall. Old low lit candelabra fixtures with faux flame light bulbs supply the light while an up-to-date jukebox plays at the bartenders discretion.
The bartenders appearance mimics the clientele, mid-thirties,
a few tatoos, muscular with a impending paunch.
Look who's here!
A few men turn, one man gets up and moves over a few spaces,
Pro's 'un-ripped stool'is available.
What'll it be, my friend?
A Brooklyn lager to start.
(scanning the room, ready
to hold court)
So, who's here?
(eyes adjusting to the
I don't see any of my "reg-gies'.
Just then some guy (Joey) pulls up a stool next to Pro.
Joey looks like a young shorter version of Howard Stern or
Joey Ramone. Lanky, long hair, camouflage jacket. But if you
cut the hair he would quickly turn nerdy. Pro has never met
Joey although they have friends in common.
Hey, I'm Joey, Craqz'friend.
Pro acknowledges, They exchange knuckles.
Craqz said you knew some shit about
I know more about luck than I do
Yeah, well I'm getting married
Pro is slightly annoyed by the words immigration and
It's a green card thing. I hardly
know this chick but its an
opportunity to make some money.
Pro takes a big gulp of beer to get up to speed.
My question is...She's a hottie and
she's desperate to get married
because of the green card
situation. I told her the price and
that I want to fuck her once or ...
say for an hour. Anyway, she balked
and said she was in the midst of
treating a venereal disease. I
think she's bluffing and told her
I'd take the necessary precautions.
My question is this, do you think
that's the right approach, me
calling her bluff or am I putting
myself at risk regarding the vd
This is an immigration question?
(to the bartender)
Let me drop some immigration
Pro has a talent for turning b.s. into authoritative b.s.
(gathers his thoughts)
There are over 750 recent studies
in England alone about the affects
of STD's and immigrants...
Okay, but she's like this awesome
model type, probably fucking the
director, D.P. or something. This
is my wedding, man! I want something
out of it. To get a piece of ass
like that retail would cost me half
of what she's paying to do this
(slams his second beer)
If you really thinks she's
desperate for the 'card' ask for
more money...forget the sex. That's
How'd you meet Craqz?
Joey nods his head in agreement with Pro's opinion on the
(notices Pro's empty
Let me get you one.
(motions for another
We met at a John Wayne Film—
His favorite drink was Sauza
--Festival, Stagecoach I
Cheers to the Duke.
Clink go the mugs.
You a movie buff?
Huge Ronald Reagan fan, the most
underrated actor alive. Ol'
Ronnie's the quintessential
American dream isn't he?
Insert: We see a film clip of Ronald Reagan and Bonzo (monkey) fill the screen.
Pro's voice continues to wax poetic on Ronald Reagan during
the film clip. Suddenly we are interrupted by a new voice off
Through the film clip the Holland Bar reemerges and Pro's
friend Leo walks through the Holland Bar's swinging doors.
INT. THE HOLLAND BAR - DAY — CONTINUOUS
Leo looks like younger Mickey Rourke circa "Nine and a half
weeks" or Rutger Hauer in "Blade Runner". He's about thirty
years old, sandy blond hair, rugged complexion, handsome in a
street sort of way. Dresses like he has just been in a fight
wearing designer clothes.
(looking at Pro)
I thought you'd be here, what up?
Hanging out, talkin'film and shit.
Yeah, well here's some Vertov for
Insert: Picture of Dziga Vertov's, early Russian avant-garde
Remember that girl from the trance
dance last week?
Valgal? I think that was the phoney
name she gave me.
(looking at Joey)
...the one you were shamming an
"ex'-capade with,...gropey, grindy,
Oh, Merry, another fake name...she
slid my hand up her dress then
slapped me and said "some other
That's the one, she's up by the Met
as we speak. She mentioned you...
(pointing to another empty
Want another one?
Let's get a pitcher...
Another pitcher and a glass,
Bartender motions an acknowledgment
What do you mean she mentioned me?
I was going to the subway from the
Impressionism show at the Met...
How is that? Isn't it closing soon?
Pro gives Joey a "Shut the Fuck" up look
...and she was sitting out in a
sidewalk cafe, Crimea...? We both
recognized each other, I stopped,
exchanged pleasantries and she
asked about you, that's the
Fuck, I didn't give her my number.
After the slap it seemed a little
Bartender pours three glasses and places the pitcher between
them. Pro slams another beer...
Sound of beer mug hitting the bar we...
56 Beaver St. is available through Episode Publishers or jmeart.com